Plastic surgery etiquette

Does "they look good!" sound OK?

I recently got together with a friend I’ve known for years but hadn’t seen in a few months. She has had OBVIOUS plastic surgery since we last saw each other. I didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t mention it. It feels strange not to talk about it since she looks so different, but I’m not sure how to bring it up. Anyone had this experience? Carri, IL

NuKazoo readers share their experiences:

The funniest way I've ever heard anyone ask about recent plastic surgery was when a friend told me she asked her long-time friend, "Where did you buy THOSE -- Costco?"

-- M.B., MD

I'm someone who has had the surgery a few years ago and when people mention it they usually ask in an awkward way, because even if they think they know, they know they can't be sure.  I'm pretty good-natured about the questions because I've learned most who ask are considering it for themselves.

-- Holly, NJ

My roommate had a boob job last year over winter break.  She denied it when I asked about it.  I think she's embarrassed.  She doesn't seem as self-confident as she did before, maybe because she's getting the attention she thought she wanted and she's just shy.  I'm wondering if she'll get used to herself over time.

-- Jenn in Tempe 

I told a friend I thought her "work" looked great.  She immediately said, "you want to see them?"  I declined.

-- Catherine, Laguna Hills, CA

I once mentioned someone's face lift and she started to cry.  She's unhappy with the result, and as she said, "there's no going back."  I wished I had never said anything.

-- Erin from Pittsburgh

My friend, we'll call her "Sue," had very obvious enhancements.  When I mentioned it, she launched into a menu of all the plastic surgery "improvements" she's had.  I realized I didn't really know her as I thought I had.

-- Jeanne from Santa Fe

Yeah, a friend at the gym got a face lift and a tummy tuck.  The face lift looked unnatural and easy to detect.  The tummy tuck was a little better, but the scare was horrendous.  I told her she looked great and asked her if she'd been on vacation or something.

-- Karl from Florida

More and more with people I know are choosing plastic surgery, and I've decided only to bring it up in the context of a compliment, and only when we're talking one-on-one rather than in a group.  So far I think my comments are appreciated.  In most cases they are quite open about the details.

-- Cindy, Chicago

I had never mentioned it to anyone, even when it's completely obvious.  Then recently a friend told me she had had some surgery and was bummed no one had said anything to her about her new look.  Hmmm.  Go figure.

-- Rory, Ohio

Once I mentioned to an acquaintance something about her "breast aug" and she sort of became defensive.  She said, "What? You mean you noticed? Oh, no!  Are they porno star sized?"  Ouch!  Not what I expected!  I wished I hadn't brought it up because I became uneasy; that conversation wasn't in my comfort zone.

-- Brenda, Barrington, IL

My boss had a face lift yet denies it, even though you can see his scars.  Some of us who work in his department have tried to get him to admit it and he persists in his denials.  He also lies about his age.  It has made for some good fun for him and us.  No one is really fooled.

-- T.H.

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