Big Sister Comes up Short

Envy over Green

My younger sister and I have always been close. I always felt like the big sister, because she always came to me for advice and empathy. A few years ago her husband started a company that makes an electronic device used to do certain kinds of measurements important in the construction trade. Well, he recently sold his company for a ton of cash. Now my sister and hubby are living very, very well. I’m envious. My husband lost his job recently, so that has added to my grief. I hate being envious, but I can’t stop. Also, the situation is affecting my feelings toward my sister. Anyone had success dealing with something like this? – Jenny S., Sugar Grove, IL

NuKazoo readers shared their experiences:

As a good friend of ours said, “somebody’s always going to have a better tan.” Every time I feel bad about someone else having more, I try to volunteer somewhere to keep my outlook in perspective. It works.

– S.H.

I’m guessing part of the problem is you don’t feel like the “big sister” anymore. Maybe now the door is open to a more equal (and adult) relationship with your sister. Could be a silver lining!

– Fred in Willowbrook

Wasn’t it the Dali Lama who said that wanting is the root of all unhappiness? We’ve all been there in one form or another. Get over it! Life isn’t fair, and if you think your sister’s life is a bowl of cherries, you’re wrong. She’s got problems. Not your problems, but problems of her own. I have friends who have lots more than I do and I try to remember that no amount of envy is going to change things. It’ll only make me miserable. Once I remember that, I go for a run and the world looks a lot better.

– Cindy S.

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