My doctor, my friend?

Self-consciousness forces distance

I’m wondering how others have dealt with this one. I have a tight group of friends who are all pretty much at the same life stage, i.e., kids in high school or older, and we all love to travel together, play tennis, go out to dinner, parties, etc. One of the good friends happens to be a gynecologist, who sees two other of the friends as patients. I have been told recently that the “patient” friends won’t go to the events that the gyne friend goes to because they are just too embarrassed! I’ve told them to get over it, but they can’t! It’s become so awkward. The patient-friends won’t change doctors and the doctor-friend is actually my closer friend. – W.A. in WI

NuKazoo readers shared their experiences:

My friend-neighbor told me she switched dermatologists because he is the father of the man who became her brother-in-law. DERMATOLOGISTS!! I laughed. She said she just couldn’t face him at holiday parties knowing he’s “seen” her! She’s happy with her new dermatologist. I never asked her how the old one took her departure.

– Sheryl S.

I’m in a similar situation, but I’m the doctor. I can tell you the issue is always with the patient, not the doctor. The doctor doesn’t remember one body from the next, and by the time they see them next doesn’t remember whether their last issue was gonorrhea or a hangnail without looking at their chart. If I see a patient in a social setting I see them as a friend, not a patient.

– M.D. in IN

I don’t want to be friends with my doctor, just as I don’t want to be friends with my real estate agent. Separation is important. My experience is that you don’t mix work with friendship and I’d put the doctor-friend issue on the same level. No good can come to the friendship by adding a doctor-patient relationship to it.

– Stan in IL

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