Seat-saving out of control  

Honoring torn napkin in the front row?

Is it just me, or has seat-saving gone way beyond rude? I see it everywhere and people are absolutely shameless! I was at my daughter's kindergarten graduation and some member of some family got in early and put little torn pieces of napkin on the entire front row of seats! Guess that's their way of saying "nyeh, nyeh, one of us got here before you and feels entitled to as many seats as our big family wants even though they have no intention of sitting in them til just before the ceremony starts." And then there's the high-profile church events -- "reserving" dozens of seats for family members who saunter in at the last minute. And what about parades? Those late-night lawn chair deposits that litter the curb-side? Do we, the non-depositers of keys, napkins, chairs, have to honor those self-centered, loophole finding, greedy litter-spreaders, all in the name of getting the best seats without using their own bodies to stake their claim? Can't we just flick the napkin shred as the garbage it is and sit down? Help me out! I need to calibrate my rage. -- Jessica near Richmond  

NuKazoo readers shared their experiences:

I take the train to work and like to put my paper on the seat next to me. Honestly, I do it because I don't want anyone to sit next to me. Am I saving the seat? Maybe, but I move it when a hot woman walks by. I'm just trying to control my space. Who could blame me?

-- Eli W.

It's not just seats that are saved. People seem to think nothing of "saving places" in line. I have actually had to back up in line at Starbucks and the Post Office because people ahead of me let others cut in. I wish I had the balls to deal with it like this guy:

-- Eddie in Ann Arbor, MI

Seat-saving is just one of dozens of examples of how rudeness has gotten out of hand. And it's not just crude rudeness like burping in public, or lazy rudeness like littering. It's selfish rudeness as in, "my needs are greater than yours, so I'm justified in putting my needs ahead of yours." I see it everywhere -- the guy who won't let you merge into traffic; the person who cuts in line getting on the bus; the person who parks their SUV across two spaces in the parking garage; I could go on and on. I'm not a fan of destroying other people's property, so I don't key cars of selfish parkers, but in the case of seat-saving, unless there's some reason I'll have to deal with the people again, I ignore the squatter's tokens and take my place where I want! I've done this many times with chairs at hotel pools.

-- Erika from Eden Prairie, MN

It's amazing to me what power the seat-savers have. I live in downtown Chicago and park my car in the street, where finding a space is pretty competitive. Every winter after a big snow storm, the street parkers put lawn chairs, hazard cones and rakes in the space they had to dig out to free their cars. They want to be able to return to the space they spent time shoveling and use it again. Most of the time, at least from what I've seen, people seem to respect this saving of parking spaces. I think they may be worried about vandalism as a reaction to violated space-saving.

-- Trish, Chicago

To confront acquaintances at church or at the school play is too much of a buzz kill and I'd embarrass my children. In those cases I roll my eyes and honor the "torn napkin." I do it grudgingly, though.

-- Mark S. near Orlando

I always figure that if they aren't around to defend their claim, then they deserve to lose it. I tell the "holder" that her family/friends will get seated with the others that arrive later -- then I take the seat. A few snorts of indignation and usually the holder leaves and is seated with family/friends when they arrive. The oh-so-polite maneuverings of others who realize that some seats up front just became available is pretty amusing, too. Hoarding seats is unreasonable, which is why most restaurants won't let you hog a table waiting for a laggard. The devious and detestable seating policies of the airlines, on the other hand ... but that's another story.

-- Gordon from Addison, TX

I always try to save the seat next to me whenever possible, though I do not expect anyone to join me. I do it because I don't want some really fat person slopping into MY seat. It grosses me out when they are up against me because they are so obscenely overweight that they hang over/under the arms of their seat. This is becoming more common all the time. It seems like about a quarter of the population is now morbidly obese, i.e. so enormously fat that the term "obese" is inadequate to describe them.

--Ruth, Milwaukee

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