Holiday party chat

Surefire openers to get her talking

What is the best question one can ask to stimulate conversation at holiday parties, especially when meeting a stay-at-home mom? --Teri from Hinsdale

NuKazoo readers shared their experiences:

The key is to go from the familiar to the unfamiliar, and to do it gracefully.  So, what do you know about the stay-at-home mom?  Well, you know she’s married.  So, “how did you and ‘Sam’ meet?” can get the ball rolling.  You know what she’s wearing, and compliments usually are well received and generate a response.  Compliments can be tricky for men to offer, as they may seem too personal.  What else do you know about the woman?  Go from there.  Also, you know everyone’s celebrating the holidays, so questions regarding holiday plans, holiday wishes, etc. get people talking. 

-- Martha, Ft. Worth

There is a presidential election coming up.   Lot's of people, including stay at home moms, have a point of view when asked "Who do you think will be the next President?"

-- Ralph in LA

How about, "What would you be doing now if this party hadn't happened?"

--Leslie in LaGrange

I love the question "What is your most memorable Christmas?" because it immediately makes me think of mine!   This question leads to a lot of tangent conversations!

-- Tracy in Hinsdale

I wonder why it’s more difficult talking to a stay-at-home mom than it is talking to anyone else.  At holiday parties it seems the two w’s, work and weather, should be off-base anyway!  Ask her how her kids help out with all the holiday rushing around.  Ask her if she and her husband exchange gifts, and if so, what she’s getting him or what he’s getting her.

-- Jane, Shaker Heights, OH

More important than what question you ask is to remember the person’s name, and use it!

-- Ellie in Chicago

I’ve run into this situation numerous times when my husband and I attend each other’s work parties.  Often there are spouses, usually women, who don’t really know anyone and who aren’t connected through the common thread of the employer.  In those cases, I’ve had the most success in conversations when I can quickly find something they enjoy.  One question that’s worked for me is, “Does your family have any holiday traditions?”

-- Laura, Glen Ellyn, IL

Moms love to talk about their children, but you don’t want the subject of children to dominate the whole conversation.  Try something like, “Who’s up first on Christmas morning?” followed by “Why?” or “Who’s the hardest to buy gifts for in your family?” and “Why is that?” then steer the chat away from the kids/family and onto some aspect of their response that you find interesting.

-- Yvonne, Bloomington

If the conversation doesn’t flow right from the introduction, you might as well make a joke of it and say, “I’ve often wondered what a good ice-breaker question is at parties like this!”  Who wouldn’t lighten up hearing that one?

-- Sally in Washington, D.C.

Take a cue from those business off-site ice-breaker games.  Try a question that starts with, “Have you ever. . .?”  Something like, “Have you ever hosted a party where no two people knew each other before that event?” Or “Have you ever had a Christmas where everyone actually liked everything they received?” or the safer “Have you ever gone away for Christmas?”

-- S. D., Villanova, PA

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